


Nowhere To Go

by corikane



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Romance, Secret love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1410505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corikane/pseuds/corikane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They meet in secret. Things arent's to get complicated or real. But somehow they do. (No copyright infringement intended.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nowhere To Go

It had been half a year since they had defeated the wicked witch and entering her former home had certainly lost most of its discomfort by now. It went the same way as the injuries, the betrayal, the heartache of that time - there was a memory of it but the feeling was gone. Still, for some residents of Storybrooke, this place must have held some cautionary residue of its evil inhabitor or they might have been discovered at some point - and Regina now almost wished they had been.  
They'd been coming here for close to three months, at first they had merely talked, then - as if the talking had just been a prelude - they had started to make out and that had quickly escalated into... everything else. And even not thinking about any particular activity that this 'everything else' had involved made Regina's stomach tingle in anticipation.  
"Emma?" she called out as she walked through the kitchen but as she stepped through the door into the hall, her arm was grabbed and she was pulled into strong arms that held her from behind. She gasped at first but then felt the tingle grow into something more mature and maddeningly arousing between her legs.  
"I wasn't sure you'd come," Emma whispered breathlessly into her hair. "But I so wanted you today. I couldn't think of anything else," she told Regina as she let her hands glide from her middle, one up, the other one down.  
"Emma," Regina moaned but at the same time grabbed both of Emma's hands and pulled them back to where they had started out from. "We need to talk," she said and seemingly felt the frustrated groan that came from the blonde behind her vibrate through her body. It could have been just as possible that it was her own groan.  
"Why talk?" Emma asked and there was a slight pout in her voice. "Talking is not what we're doing anymore. You said you were all talked out that day, remember?"  
Emma freed one of her hands from Regina's and pushed her hair back with it. Her lips immediately took the path her hand had just uncovered and a feisty tongue joined the fun soon after. The next groan definitely came from Regina as she pushed into the sheriff's body, feeling her own slowly lose control on any grip she had wanted to keep.  
"Emma, please," she said, following Emma's steps backwards until she stood securely pressed against the wall.  
"Please, what, baby? What do you want me to do to you today?"  
There is strength and then there was the inhumanly effort it took Regina to not give in and shove Emma's hand into her pants. But she somehow pulled herself out of the sheriff's grasp and stood facing her. Emma looked at her surprised and just a little worried.  
"I didn't mean to... like force you or anything. I just thought...," she started but Regina interrupted.  
"I know, Emma, it's... we really need to stop this," she said with a frown and another great effort.  
Emma looked startled now.  
"Stop? You mean...."  
"I mean coming here. I mean... lying to everyone and do... what we do," Regina clarefied.  
"But...," Emma started but couldn't really think of anything to say. She had known that this day would come. She had anticipated it from the first time they had met here by accident and had started to talk. And she had known that Regina would be the one to end it because... she... had never felt about these meetings the way Emma felt about them. It wasn't just pleasure for her, though there had been plenty of that for both of them, it was more. So much more. But she had felt unable to tell Regina about this, she had never thought Regina would want to hear about her feelings. And now it was too late. Everything she said now would just sound like a desperate attempt to get Regina back here, have them continue their... sexual encounters.  
"You've already had enough of me? That didn't take long," she joked as she turned away and took the nearest exit into the kitchen so that Regina would not see the hurt in her eyes.  
Regina followed her, pulling at her clothes which had gotten a little out of order in their earlier... embrace.  
"That's not... you know why. It's not... getting us anywhere," Regina stammered.  
Emma turned and leaned against the table in the middle of the room.  
"Why do we always have to go somewhere? Why can't we just... enjoy where we are and who we're with for awhile?" she argued.  
"But we're not... with each other, Emma. We're hiding together and that's not the same thing."  
"So what does that mean? Do you want us to not hide anymore?" Emma asked.  
They looked at each other, both wondering if Emma's question had meant what they wanted it to mean or maybe something else. They had never understood each other well, not when there was room for misinterpretation and Regina had a feeling that she was now hearing something in Emma's voice that wasn't really there - because she wanted desperately for it to be there.  
"I want us to... not meet like this anymore. If we have things to discuss about Henry we can do it at the diner or the station. Anything else... there's really no anything else," she seemed to remind herself of that last bit and Emma could see a flicker of something like hurt flash in the dark eyes she's come to drown in more and more often these last couple of weeks.  
"Really? You telling me that Robin might have been your true love was nothing? Me telling you what happened between Hook and I... nothing? I thought... I know we're not.... it wasn't nothing, Regina. It meant something at the time," Emma heard herself stammer but couldn't convey what it had meant for her. To be able to talk about these things she hadn't been able to talk to anyone else. To be able to just touch and seek pleasure with someone. And to fall in love because that's what she'd done. It had all meant so much to her. Why couldn't Regina see that? Why couldn't she feel it, too?  
"It meant that we were both desperate... for someone to talk to, for someone to share the pain with and... ultimately... ourselves...."  
"And you liked it," Emma accused. "It was good, it felt good! Didn't it?" Regina could see the tears in Emma's bright green eyes, there was hurt behind them. She wasn't just trying to salvage something she liked doing. This went deeper for her, too. But how deep could this... lie actually go? How far had they gotten involved without noticing, without feeling the need to protect themselves?  
"It felt so good. But it doesn't anymore, Emma. It... hurts," Regina finally came out.  
"What hurts? Did I hurt you?"  
"No.... yes... I...."  
"Talk to me, Regina," Emma pleaded desperately. "How did I hurt you?"  
"You... you hurt me every time you call me Madam Mayor because you suddenly remember that you called out my name as you climaxed maybe just hours ago. You hurt me when you wave at me whenever you bring Henry over because hugging is not what we do in public. You hurt me when you come into the diner to meet someone and you don't even dare looking at me because anyone might notice the slight blush on your cheeks as you do. These things hurt me and I know they shouldn't but... I can't help it."  
Regina didn't look at Emma, she looked out the window. But Emma was looking at her, she was staring. And then she walked a few steps toward her and took Regina's hands into her own. Regina still refused to look at her but now she closed her eyes.  
"You hurt me, too, you know?" Emma said in a hoarse whisper leaning into Regina. She put her mouth close to Regina's ear and continued:  
"You hurt me when you refuse my arms around you after we've... made love. You hurt me when you turn your head away when we part inside the front door before we're leaving here. Every time, Regina, every time I try to... initiate intimacy you turn me down."  
"I... don't mean to. it's just... easier... no, not easier... I just can't..."  
"You can't let me know that you love me?" Emma asked and for just a moment Regina swayed against her. But then Emma saw Regina open her eyes as if in sudden alarm and she stood rigid and distant.  
"I... never... I," she didn't say it but Emma felt that she wanted to. Why didn't she just say it?  
"You don't love me. That's it, right? You just don't love me."  
Regina shook her head and Emma felt her heart break, could almost hear the cracks like a giant rift in the earth. She felt the air getting pulled from her lungs and found it harder and harder to breathe and yet only seconds passed.  
"That's not it," Regina said but there was no comprehension in Emma as she still struggled to come to terms with her broken heart. "I... this is hard, Emma. I... how can I tell you that I love you when I know you're never gonna be able to tell anyone about us?"  
"Did you just say...?" It was like a light got turned on behind her uncomprehending eyes and Emma stared at Regina for a moment.  
"No, I didn't say it," Regina argued lamely.  
Emma smiled.  
"Yeah, you did and you do, don't you? You love me," the blonde said giddily.  
"I..."  
"Tell me," she pleaded.  
"I love you, Emma... but... it doesn't matter."  
"It matters, Regina. It's all that matters," Emma disagreed. "I will tell everybody, I promise. I don't care... you never have to hide your love again, Regina. Not with me," she vowed and finally pulled Regina's face to hers, kissing her.  
"This is not... I... Em...," but she couldn't form a coherent sentence or thought while Emma kissed her and finally relented to their lips getting reacquainted, with plenty of help by their tongues.  
When they finally parted, breathless, heated and more than ready to continue with it, Emma pushed Regina's hair from her ear once again. She purred into it and made the dark-haired woman giggle with it.  
"I love you, too," Emma said. "And I will try very hard to never hurt you again."

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Melissa Etheridge song of the same title.


End file.
